Soul-crushing. Gut wrenching. Mind blowing. These are phrases that leap to mind as I try to put into words last night's Dodgers loss.
Quickly following these phrases are questions: How does Broxton walk Matt freaking Stairs on four pitches with 1 out and nobody on in the bottom of the ninth? How does he hit Carlos Ruiz with a pitch? Do the Dodgers just lack the killer instinct necessary to put a team away in the playoffs? Is this series over and, if so, will this Dodgers core ever win or do they lack some necessary element that needs to be obtained before the core is broken up by free agency? Will my head explode as I continue to hear Chip Carey fellate the Phillies throughout Game 5?
Baseball is, at its core, a game of failure. In that respect, as a baseball fan I should be insulated from these types of losses. But this feels like the failure of a Dodgers era -- call it the post-Gibson era. With so many hopes pinned on the young Dodgers stars, watching them crater in such a magnificent fashion (lead by, arguably, the best of them) undercuts not just this season but the whole theory behind this team. Some teams have that "winner" element that allows them to succeed in the most pressure packed, intense situations. It goes beyond the ability to relax (which Torre stresses so much) and treads into a combination of urgency and serenity that is typically referred to as confidence (though I don't think that captures it). I am starting to wonder if this iteration of the Dodgers has it. The inability to put away the division when it mattered. The epic failures of last year and this year against the Phillies. The season-long tendency to play down to their opponent. All these facts suggest this team embraces failure a bit too much and lacks "It."
There are lots of "X's and O's" issues that could be discussed about this game. Ted Barrett's umpiring giving Ryan Howard 4 strikes before his 1st inning home run. The Dodgers leaving the bases loaded after tying the game with 2 outs. The inability to get to the horrible Phillies bullpen for an insurance run or two. Sherrill's struggles in the 8th that lead Torre to call to Broxton an inning early (and for him to sit for 18 minutes while the Dodgers batted in the top of the 9th). Baseball turns on these things. But such discussions seem hollow when the soul of this Dodgers team seems crushed.
Some day, I hope, my baby girl will become a sports fan. I will sit with her watching our favorite teams and try to teach her what there is to love about grown men playing meaningless games for our entertainment, and will attempt to give her the passion that makes sports great without the fanaticism that makes losing so hard. And she and I will, at some point, have to face a game like last night. Then, as today, I will not know what to say.
Thank god the 'Horns won.
